The manner in which an argument is resolved is what causes damage to a relationship, not the disagreement itself. The existence of disagreements is unavoidable; but, when they become toxic and spiral into a continuous cycle of blaming, defensiveness, and silence, they become destructive. Couples and families can benefit from the assistance of a connectionscs‘s marriage and family therapist in order to negotiate conflict in a manner that deepens their connection rather than ripping it apart.
Have you ever started a conversation with someone in a casual setting, only to have it devolve into a heated debate about something completely different? It is not uncommon. When emotions take control, long-buried frustrations come back to the surface, and all of a sudden, a disagreement about the dishes evolves into a debate over who cares more about the situation. By slowing things down and preventing conversations from going off track, a therapist can be of great assistance.
Different people find different ways to deal with confrontation; some people withdraw, while others push harder. It’s possible that one partner needs some time to comprehend the situation, while the other partner wants to handle it right away. Both of these replies are correct; nevertheless, if one does not comprehend these fundamental distinctions, any dispute can feel like a conflict. The psychotherapeutic process helps bridge this gap, ensuring that neither party feels neglected or overwhelmed.
Then there is the difficulty of actually listening to what is being said. Listening to someone is not the same as comprehending what they are saying. In times of intense emotion, words are confused, intentions are misunderstood, and assumptions are allowed to take control. Through the process of uncovering the true issue that lies beneath the conflict, a therapist works to ensure that all parties feel heard and validated.
The true adversary is not conflict; rather, it is ineffective conflict resolution. Couples and families can learn how to negotiate arguments in a way that develops understanding and connection with one another via the guidance of a marriage and family therapist. At the end of the day, it is not necessarily about winning disputes; rather, it is about developing connections that are stronger and healthier.